How To Build Your Confidence

Confidence is an interesting subject. For me, it’s a super power that can be the difference between success and failure or the difference between someone investing in you or choosing to invest in someone else. It even makes a difference when choosing a romantic relationship. Both sexes are attracted to confidence and a person who knows who they are.

Confidence isn’t arrogance but about being comfortable in your own skin. It’s about embracing who you are and staying in line with your strengths and abilities. Having a healthy respect for yourself and the gifts God has given you while remaining open to new ideas is key to confidence. Part of being confident is knowing what you’re good at and, equally, what you’re not.  Confidence increases when you say, “Yes,” to the things you’re good at and to the things that excite you while simply saying, “No,” to the rest.

This practice protects energy and builds confidence as you do what you love and what you’re good at. Being a person of confidence is infectious. I want my confidence to inspire and energise others to take hold of their own destiny and invest in themselves. Investing in yourself always will be the smartest thing you can do. When you invest in yourself, you flourish. When you flourish, your eyes open to your own value. When you see your own value you really begin to see the reasons you should be confident in who you are and what you bring to the table.

Arrogance has a different look to it. It puffs itself up like a puff adder snake, pretending to be bigger than it actually is. It’s lost the ability to listen and grow. It often is stubborn and proud. But, most of all, when you look it in the eye, all it will do is belittle you, embarrass you and shrink you to a level where you feel like an excrement on the bottom of your shoe. It is not in my heart to belittle anyone. I don’t want who I am and what I achieve to make anyone else doubt themselves.

I want all of us to discover who we are, by embracing and investing in our own influences, skills and strengths. By doing this, we grow in confidence to fulfil the full potential buried in each of us. Fighting the competition by constantly comparing ourselves to others is exhausting and frustrating. We must constantly look in the mirror and realise we go up against ourselves every day of our lives.

As I was sitting in the dentist office this morning, I stumbled across a great analogy. The majority of us dread the dentist. To be honest, I can’t say I go to the dentist with a skip and a step, but I do appreciate the need for good oral hygiene.

When we arrive at the dentist, we sit down in reception and try to occupy ourselves. But, when we hear the drilling and maybe the odd scream and smell the smell of something surgical, the environment begins to paint a picture of unrest and uncertainty. At this point, we almost have to psych ourselves up before entering the exam room.

Once we’ve climbed in the chair, we open our mouths wide and each tooth and gum is inspected with due care. When you hear the words, “ Everything is okay. We’re just going to give you a scale and polish,” you release a little sigh of relief but don’t want to make a big deal because you’re confident.  That certainly was me today. I don’t typically get nervous, but going to the dentist is a personal matter— you may even role play various scenarios that could play out.  However, when nothing comes of it, you leave the dentist with a skip and a step and maybe even a whistle to go with it.  When we face things that are uncomfortable and come out the other end unscathed, our perspective and confidence changes towards that situation. To grow in confidence, start by doing small incremental steps toward those things that are uncomfortable, unnatural or a bit daunting. When we take these steps and realise our imagination is more scary than our reality, we can take a deep breath, steady ourselves and move forward.